Spam 'n' Eggs - An Adventure in Processed Meats

Luncheon meat.

It comes by many names: Spam, Kam, Holiday, the list goes on. Grocery stores even have their own varieties: Compliments, Presidents choice, Great Value...

But what IS this strange phenomenon most of us know as Spam? Well, according to the can it's motherfucking mechanically separated meat. I don't know what that means but it sounds kind of gross. It's not even one specific kind of meat either, it mentions chicken and pork.

So let's grab a can and open the lid. It smells... reminiscent of cat food, but not as off-putting. In order to gets the stuf out of the can you kind of have to squeeze it until you hear a bit of a slurping-slapping noise as it unsticks itself from the sides of the can. There is a bit of a yellowish congealed... something on the outside corners. I poke at it and its cold and slimy. Gross.

I do NOT want my first attempt at eating Spam to go badly, so I decided not to eat it the way it was, but rather to slice it thin and fry it up. I fried it until it looked like well-fried bologna (red and a little brown where it was hottest). One whole can of Spam later and I have like... 12 or more slices of fried processed meat.

The moment of truth. I try a bite. It's a little crunchy on the outside from the frying and soft on the inside, but it isn't horrible. If you disregard the texture, shape, and smell it actually tastes a lot like bacon that was cooked JUST long enough.

So I guess Spam is a viable option for breakfast foods. I mean it is certainly affordable when it's about 50c a can, and if you're lucky 33c. So, as a univeristy student, it is an affordable alternative to bacon. It keeps pretty much forever, and it's really easy to fry (do NOT use oil or butter because it seems to have it's own fat pockets that melt and cook it). Of courseI wouldn't want to eat this all the time but if I wanted the flavour of bacon to go with my eggs at a more affordable price I would choose Spam again. Probably because I have three more cans under my cupboard, but if it was ever on sale I would pick up a few cans.

So, if you're feeling adventurous (or poor) pick up a can of Spam and have your own processed meat adventure!

-Tara